In observing our family and myself, I’ve realized a few things.

 

It is so encouraging to notice and celebrate the strengths of my children!

Parenting can get tough.  We are tempted to worry about so many things and if we’re not careful, we will spend all our time obsessing about how we’ve “dropped the ball” in a certain area…or how we need to work harder to catch up.

While it is beneficial and even necessary to keep a “to do” list (of sorts) when it comes to our children, if we aren’t careful, this is ALL we’ll spend our time thinking about.

Instead of investing our emotions into the things our children are not, why don’t we invest our emotions into rejoicing over the things that are?

I want to celebrate the God-given gifts and abilities of my children.  What fun it is to watch them grow and bloom right in front of your eyes!  And, at the same time, how sad if we missed it because we were so worried about why they didn’t measure up to the kid down the street!

When they’re babies, we celebrate them!  We spend hours staring into those sweet, innocent faces dreaming about who they will becom.

We dread them growing up too fast.

Our joy is marred by the fact that maybe they crawled a month too late or refused to eat a wide variety of vegetables….they’re too large or too small on the growth scale…and they didn’t learn to speak coherently or use correct grammar.

After that comes the fear that they won’t read on time or use good manners in front of your friends or master the art of kung fu or whatever…

My point is this:

we forget to spend the majority of our thoughts and actions on the things these beautiful children do well.

I’m not speaking of bragging.  This isn’t a push to get you to become that annoying parent who can’t contain their need to overcompensate for perceived insecurities and thus ends up talking about how their children are superior to all others.

Actually, I’m referring to the opposite.  I’m speaking of a certain contentment and inner joy that comes from knowing and celebrating the gifts of reality.  Instead of pressuring my child to perform by someone else’s standards, I encourage them where they are naturally gifted.  I seek these things out and provide them with opportunities to excel at life.

And I take notice of all the possibilities.

Maybe my child loves history and stories of Zorro.  Maybe he can’t stop singing the songs he hears on the radio or drumming a beat on every flat surface.  So, the natural thing would be to take him to museums and read stories of men who changed history through courageous acts.  We study heroism and then maybe the child gives hints of being interested in horses, so we jump in there also!

This could lead to watching rodeos, which leads to horseback riding lessons, which in turn leads to knowledge of horse breeds and agriculture.  Really the sky is the limit!

The child loves to sing, so we have singing lessons, but maybe that isn’t his thing…maybe writing songs or composing music is…and we go from there.

When I have a child like this, I celebrate him!!

I continue to marvel at all his unique qualities and oddities.  Sure he needs to learn to read and write, of course!  Obviously, he needs to eat a well-rounded diet!  But let’s take the pressure out of the situation…let’s take a step back and add in some fun because the hard truth is this – life goes by fast.

We will miss this gift of a unique family life if we spend the entire thing stressed about timelines and societal standards.

We will miss out on the beauty.

At the end of this life, I guarantee it won’t be as fun to brag about little Jimmy’s phenomenal score on that standardized test way back when.  We will be pining away for their childhood once more.  We will be wishing we hadn’t been so preoccupied with temporal things when we could’ve been basking in the thrill of what makes these little minds tick.

We could be living an adventure and marveling at a garden full of flowers as they unfold.

Our children are these flowers.  And they unfold slowly, brilliantly over time.  We have the honor of seeing each little petal as it quietly unfurls.  And how surprising some of these petals turn out to be!

I truly, desperately don’t want to miss this.

If you’re like me, you have a long list of things you’d like to work on with your kiddos.  But let’s choose together to take time, step back and simply watch them.

Let’s take a breath, and choose to see the quirky ways God created them.

Let’s celebrate the ways they excel and choose to forget, for a moment, all the things we’d like to “improve”.

Let’s name them and call them out in ways that are good and excellent and worthy of praise!

 

“My sweet child, you are a philosopher…a scientist…an artist…a writer…a gymnast…an athlete…an animal lover…a comedian…a communicator…”

and the list goes on.

As I am crafting my family’s unique culture…that way we all fit together like some cosmic puzzle…I want to make sure I spend more time encouraging them to grow in what they are and less time obsessing over what they are not.

 

Choose to take a step back and see today; really see all the things God has already placed within your family.

There are hints and pieces and signs everywhere!

 

What are the strengths of your children?

What are your own strengths?